Well now

I think this whole sarah thing has me in it's clutches. Not like I havn't moved on for the most part, I think one just has hopes of a re-evaluation on her part. Which is stupid...

I just wrote this email to a friend of mine:

Maybe I can share…. I am feeling in a sharing mood, I was working on the blog then … you mailed…. So sarah has a new bo, which has gotten to me.

This woman I have been dating, It’s absolutely cyclical, every time I spend time with her I feel exactly the same things, I realize how wrong we are together. It is a series of “I don’t like you, you just agree with me, Your lying about how you think the same things I do. And we in no way connect on any but the most superficial ways. I don’t even get why she likes me, besides my constant pecking about how poor the quality of her life is, and how uninteresting, and uninspired, and unfulfilled it is, and a life of random bouncing like a pinball game, at the whim of the winds, and almost completely underpowered
All of this yet again leaves me with with slim relationship possibilities. But But But But……I am getting to the point where I have some idea what I’m looking for I guess, that is good, yet I’m not sure I’ll find it. and yet apparently I’m supposed to go out and look some more… but I’m not that interested in investing the time into it.

alright, i'm fucking tired and want to get some sleep