The melancholy and Nostalgic reflection continue.....

I spent some time this morning looking up old friends. Some of that stuff can be unsettling. as you find out how well they are doing.

Then some asshole talked to me about a job, a 9-5 one. Fuck that shit... Just the idea of ... I've worked for myself for so long, and I can only stand certain kinds of bosses. It takes some fucking dude about 40 seconds to make me want to kill him, as someones ideas about how to micromanage converge with their inability to take any responsibility.

Worse is, it was a government job... Ugh

Just to get more personal, it upsets me that I can't just suck it up and take it... I did that for so many years. Many years of taking verbal abuse, of dealing with bosses who did nothing but get in your way, Years of being insulted and pretending not to hear it. All while constantly doing everything I could to get as much done as I could. All to get paid Nothing, barley a working wage, barley a living wage. Lucky to make it through each week and keep the bills paid.

Also Knowing that deep down it's more my problem than anything; not demanding enough money, not taking advantage when I could, Being the better person, Trying to make my world a better one, regardless of how it affected me..... and now I'm fucking whining about it like a little bitch...